the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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