I hate your face
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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