Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
