The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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