I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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