you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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