just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize