dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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