i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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