I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
