So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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