Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
