At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
