ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
