I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
