Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
