How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
