terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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