he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
