Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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