Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
