My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
