what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
