READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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