You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
this is an emotional support booty call
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
