how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
how drunk are you?
Several
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
