you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
