Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
