if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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