I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
