I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
