I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
