Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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