Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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