so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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