I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
