whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I didn't notice because vodka
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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