I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
