You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
