I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
