I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
