Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
