Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
