if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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