The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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