I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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