You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
