4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
