After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
