So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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