More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
