A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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