im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I deserve this hangover.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
