meet me or not, i'm out of control
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
