I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
P.S. I can't hear my feet
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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