His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
