my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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