Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
