Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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